All's fair in Love and War Well, accept nukes
by Edward Silver
Summary: An attack happens before Allison can get back to London. A mysterious stranger causes conflict in Honolulu Hights. Two tourists have the most petrifying gap year imaginable. Read to find out what happens in Barry.
1. The Dark Figure

**Allison's POV**

Allison waddled down the road, a tear rolling off her cheek. It fell onto the cold dark pavement, She was filled with a mixture of emotions. Anger, regret, love and a overwhelming sadness that consumed her from the inside. She wanted to curl into a foetal position and simply cry until she died of dehydration or a vampire attack. Which ever came first. She turned down an alley, hoping to find a bus stop to take her back to London. Her mind was flooded with memories of when she and Tom had taken Eve in the pram on walks down this side of Barry, talking about the rule of third and ways to kill vampires. More tears began to well up. She shook her head. She forced herself to remember that he didn't want her. That she was 'specky and annoying'.

A dark figure blocked her path.

**Tom's POV**

Tom wiped his eyes on the sleeve of his jacket. He watched her leave from his window, clutching the blue peter badge to the point in which his fist hurt. He missed her already. When he thought of all the good times they'd shared tears began to well up in his eyes. He watched sadly as she turned down an alley. He was about to turn away when he noticed a dark figure sprinting across the brick red roofs of the houses. He knew it was a vampire, for what else could move like that? He also knew it was after Allison. He felt his heart tug. He had to save her. He ran towards the door, grabbing Duncan off his bedside table.

**Edward's POV**

Edward was perching on the roof of Honolulu Heights, squatting to avoid being thrown off by the strong winds that were currently threatening to pull his hat out of his hand. His black leather trench coat was whipping around him. His dark hair slashing his cheeks like knives, He heard talking from bellow him. He pressed his head against the roof, the wind now having less effect on his hair. He heard talking, sadness pouring from each word which left the lips of those bellow. He resumed watching life happen, it calmed him down. He had found that after three hundred and forty two years of life, the most calming thing he could do was watch life happen. He smirked. Life. What was life? Was it a state of mind? A concept created to calm the ants of which had colonised this earth? He heard a door slam bellow him. Ah, young love… He noticed a white van begin to follow the young woman who had left the house. The driver of the van, He was a vampire. Edward put on his mirror sunglasses and got onto his feet. He put on his top hat. Straightened it. Pushed it on tighter. And Ran.

He jumped the chimneys like an athlete would jump hurdles. He moved like a cat, his coat flapping in the breeze, following him like a leather shadow. The woman turned into an alleyway. From the van three vampires were deployed. Ye gods only knew how many were still in the van. The three vampires began to walk after the she wolf. Edward jumped.

**Ruth's POV**

Ruth stood in Bristol airport. The flight had taken too long and everything on the plane had been weird. Especially the food. She was currently at the weird conveyer belt where the luggage is collected from. She had come to the UK from America with her best friend Caroline. They had known each other since year eight when her family moved to the states and they did everything together. They were currently on their gap year and had decided to visit Wales. Due to the irritating lack of airports in Wales they had been forced to take a plane to Bristol and then take a taxi the rest of the way. She sighed. Caroline had gone to buy tea, because there's nothing like a cuppa when back in the UK. She spotted Caroline's bright red suitcase just being flung onto the conveyor belt.

'Bloody hell… How long is this going to take?' She muttered to herself. She observed her own blue suitcase being flung on shortly after the contained outburst of emotion. The red suitcase past by her. She lunged for it, her short blue hair barely having time to respond, She grabbed the heavy suitcase's handle and pulled it onto the trolley. She smiled, Task 1.a completed. Now to grab the blue suitcase.

It trundled towards her at a pace a snail would laugh at.

_**AN**_

_**Will Ruth ever get out of the Airport? Where will she go?**_

_**Who is this strange Edward? What does he want with Allison?**_

_**Will Tom get to Allison in time? Why Duncan and not Thor?**_

_**Will Allison make it past chapter one? Will help arrive?**_

_**Will I ever update this fanfiction? **_

_**The answer to all of those is up to you! Please review, and to provoke reviews;**_

_**If you could be a Vampire, Werewolf, Ghost, Succubus or Zombie, which would you be?**_

_**I'd be a vampire, call myself Edward Silver and travel the country watching people. And I'd wear a black top hat,**_

_**Enjoy!**_


	2. Generallly Shitty Experiance

**A/N Right, so, onto the next chapter! So, sorry for the lack of updates, I've been a little busy. So, right… I started writing this straight after the end of 4:6. Now that all of series four has ended this is a sort of 'what if' fic. **

**Edward's POV**

He smirked at the young woman, his top hat perched precariously on his head. The young woman gasped. That was the sort of reaction he had hoped for. Why save people if you can't get them gasping? His hand dived into the inside pocket of his coat, drawing a modified Webley revolver. The young woman gasped again. Well, in her credit, many people would gasp if a young man fell from the skies and drew a gun from their pocket.

The young woman ducked, obviously having some common sense. He fired. His arms were pushed back by the force of the bullet leaving the gun. A thought crossed his mind, if this were a book, or fanfiction, someone would mention that the gun felt heavy and cold, but to be honest, he was used to the weight of the gun. It felt… Familiar. He fired again.

Two of the pursuing vampires flew backwards, slowly turning to ash. He ignored the look of confusion on their faces. They were always confused. His targets.

Four more vampires sprinted into the alleyway. This left him with five targets and four bullets. Shit.

He ran forward, jumping over the cowering seventeen year old female. His feet touched the ground softly, like a cat. He ran into the one in front, slamming him against a wall, shooting him in the chest at point-blank. He span around, firing three times. By the time he was facing them they were simply three piles of dust. He smiled. It wasn't a evil smile, or a cocky smile. It was a smile for a job well done. Or half done. The final vampire ran at full pelt towards him.

He was sent flying, his sunglasses being smashed off his face, skittering across the cold, dark pavement. He was slammed against a wall, his hat falling off his head.

And that was when he lost it. He punched the other vampire in the stomach, before launching a barrage of punches to the bald vampire's face. Edward's mind was ablaze with anger.

His hat finally hit the ground. He kneed the bald vampire in the balls, before punching him in the gut. He aimed his gun at the bald vampire's head. He pulled the trigger.

_Click. _He pulled the trigger again. _Click. _The bald vampire smirked, before punching Edward in the face and reaching down and picking up a crow-bar. He lifted it high above his head. Edward slumped to the ground, readying himself for a really shitting experience.

The tip of a stake stuck out from the vampire's chest. His face contorted with pain and despair.

'Oh fuck.' The bald vampire mumbled, before crumbling to ash.

And that was when the crow-bar fell.

**Allison's POV**

Allison ducked, covering her head with her arms as a bullet soared above her. She heard dust hitting the ground. She began to sob slightly, why was all this happening to her? First she got scratched by a werewolf while on Duke of Edinburgh, then she met Tom. They had slain vampires and discussing debating together, and then he dumped her and now she was on the floor cowering as vampires killed each other around her.

A figure jumped over her. She heard footsteps heading towards her and braced herself for the worst.

'Allison! Ge up! There's vampires!' she heard Tom yell. Her heart skipped a beat. He had come back for her. She heard gunshots being fired and Tom's footsteps heading towards the conflict. She got up slowly, witnessing her mysterious saviour's gun refusing to fire. She winced multiple times as the last of her attackers got beaten brutally. And then her attacker raised a crow-bar. Tom sprinted forwards, staking the bald vampire in the back.

'Don't kill the one with the hat!' She yelled. If the hatted one had saved her then she wanted to know who he was, and more importantly, why he had risked his life to save her.

And that was when the crow-bar fell.

**Tom's POV**

Tom sprinted down the street, his heart pounding. Allison was in danger. The vampire in the top-hat could be a threat to Eve if it knew or found out from Allison. His mind was buzzing. He increased his pace, turning into a alley. He saw four piles of ash and a hand-to-hand fight going on between a bald vampire and the one with a top-hat. He told Allison to get off the floor and then ran to the fight. He noticed a gun. He slowed down. _Click_. The gun was out of ammo. _Click_. And the vampire with the gun had only just figured it out. He ran forward to kill them both.

He staked the bald one in the back, lodging it in really deep into the vampire's back. He pressed it in harder, a grim satisfaction was felt at this time. He heard Allison tell him to keep the one in black alive. He grunted.

And then the crow-bar fell.

**Ruth's POV**

Ruth was completely unaware of the events happening in Barry. If she had any idea of what was currently taking place where she was planning to go then she would have probably taken Caroline to London or Milton Keynes*****. She was currently sitting in a bus which was making its way slowly towards Barry. The taxi had taken them to Cardiff and they had walked/bussed/hitch-hiked the rest of the way.

'So is Wales like England?' Caroline enquired, honestly curious. This caused Ruth to smirk. Don't you just love slightly naïve Americans? So cute when they ask silly questions. She thought this entirely in jest of course.

'Yeah, sure. The language is a little different.' She replied.

**A/N**

***Milton Keynes is a lovely town nearish to London. It has the longest city centre IN THE WORLD! It also has some really awesome stuff. I recommend you go there, like The Woman Of The Flame will. Won't say anything else about TWOTF, spoilers for later chapters… *giggles girlishly***

**Well, sorry for the delay. On the upside, I have loads of spare time now and can get a few chapters uploaded soon. Well, I can write them, but I have a lack of internet when typing, otherwise I get distracted, so I now type when I have no internet.**

**So, now you've chosen your supernatural form, what would your morals be?**

**I'd try to stay off blood/feed once every year. I'd probably try to save people but remain quite secretive about it. Can't let you humans find out about vampires! **

**Also, who's your favourite OC from this fan-fiction? Ruth, Caroline or Edward?**

**Also, shout-out to AylaAbbs! You're awesomeness! *bows with a flourish* **

**Ayla created Ruth and Caroline in a really awesome fic in the batman universe. I recommend it.**

**Till next time, keep safe! I need you alive to review…. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA**


	3. JLS Condom

**A/N Hello again! T'is I again! Yeah! So, What happened to Ol' Eddie Boy? In my person experience, crow-bars hurt. A lot. I mean, even vampire's aren't immune to crow-bars. Wow, I might be giving away a major plot-point here. I'll get on with the fan-fic now. However, note the lack of Edward's POV, and the Tom-speak, which is a bugger to write. Tally-ho old bean! **

**Tom's POV**

'Oh shi! Oh shi!' Tom exclaimed, having watched the crow-bar fall onto the mysterious man. He bent over to pick up Duncan from the pile of ash it was currently sitting in. The crow-bar had fallen straight onto the head of the strange vampire. Allison ran towards them, before hugging Tom tightly.

'Old on!' He yelled, concerned about the well-fare of the top-hat man. Allison let go, and he immediately missed the warmth the hug had produced. Wales is cold in winter, this winter was no exception. Both youths got on their knees and began to check the condition of the mysterious man. Allison began to check through his pockets, pulling out a few items and checking them.

'Oi! What are ya doin? E saved yew! Don't bloody mug im!' He exclaimed.

'I am looking for traces of his identity!' She replied defensively, pulling a Iphone 4S from his pocket, before laying it softly on the ground and reaching in again.

Tom began rifling through the black leather pockets of the coat, before glancing a look at the vampire's face. Blood was pouring from his nose and forehead, which was also badly bruised.

He shook his head, vampire's can normally survive stuff like that, and Annie is amazing. She can help him. And Hal's a vampire. He can help. Of course he can.

Tom continued searching through the young man's pockets, random items being taken from the pockets at a speed un-matchable by the average pocket searcher.

Between the two of them they had gathered: Condoms (JLS durex, for those who **need** to know. Strange people you are.), some bullet sized stakes (upon the discovery of the wooden bullets it was decided by the couple that it was probably those which had been shot at the other vampires earlier), a wallet (which had about £400.84 in it, and an ID (claiming the man's name to be William Grey and his age to be twenty four.)). An Ipod shuffle which was a very loud shade of pink, if shades can be loud? About four combs… Why did he have FOUR combs? Seriously, why FOUR?

Tom's face was obviously betraying him, as Allison noticed the sign of confusion upon his face.

'What?' She enquired.

'Why FOUR combs? Seriously, why FOUR?' He replied, his voice raising in pitch slightly.

'I agree that four combs may be a little much. Perhaps he loses them frequently and therefore requires four so his hair is still nice when jumping from the sky and killing other vampires?' She speculated.

She reached into her bag and pulled out some tissues, and began wiping grime and blood off the young man's head. There was a lot of blood. Allison got another tissue and continued wiping, throwing away the old tissue.

**Allison's POV**

'So, who do you think he is?' She asked, as Tom moved onto the next pocket.

'A vampire, possiblie seksually active.' He found two sets of car keys. 'And he has cars. And money.' **(So, sorry about the crappy Tom-speak.)**

'He definitely has money, and is supposedly called William Grey.' She replied, before picking up the phone and pressing the only button on the front. She slid the touch-screen, as it told her to slide to unlock. The pass-code screen appeared.

Bugger, she thought. She tapped in a series of random numbers and, as if some sort of author of reality had caused it to happen to speed up what would easily be a long and tedious process, the phone 'unlocked'.

She smiled. She then slid her fingers across the screen, heading to the first page of apps, which took a while. The young vampire had twenty five pages of apps, and when she unlocked the phone, it was on page twenty five. She opened the text messaging system. The last text he had received had been sent earlier that day, and it was sent by someone called Tom. Not her Tom of course. Her Tom didn't have a phone. Wait, why was she referring to him as HER TOM? She shook her head. He dumped her. She HAD to remember that. Other wise she might go insane. Wasn't she insane already? Hacking the phone of a vampire with a top hat? She smirked. Who carried condoms and four combs.

And the text was sent to someone called Ed. She scrolled up, hoping to find out if it had any evidence to the identity of "William", or "Ed". Actually, what was his name?

Anyway… She continued scrolling, reading the conversation backwards.

Apparently, the man they were currently caring for was called Edward and he was waiting for someone, or something. She glanced at Tom. He was still searching the vampire's pockets. She looked at the floor next to Tom, it was covered in many random items.

Why did a vampire male need a bubble pipe? Why would anyone over the age of five even WANT a bubble pipe?

**My POV**

The Author sat at his desk, tying furiously, before stopping. He stared at the screen for a while, in deep thought. He decided to type something from his own point of view as to take up space in the chapter and let you, the reader, know him slightly better.

He sipped his coffee. It was going cold, and was bitter. He smirked.

He thought of how he would get Edward to Honolulu Heights without it being bulky or cliché.

He sipped his coffee again, a figure in a black coat approached him.

"Look, I'm busy. Come back later, please." The Author requested.

The figure in the black coat was silent.

"Not in the mood." The Author said glumly, before drawing a M9 hand-gun from his pocket. The figure pulled a M16 assault rifle from the shady interior of his coat.

"And so it begins." The Author remarked, before leaping through the air, shooting manically, hitting the lamp. The room darkened. The figure was a mere shadow in a room of statues. It unleashed wave after wave of lead, the bullets hitting almost everything in the room.

The coffee stood still.

The Author landed, before sprinting towards the figure, hitting him in the face with his gun. The figure reeled back, blood pouring from its face. The Author grabbed his coffee, took a sip and then placed it back on the table. The figure kicked and flailed wildly. The Author took the rifle from the Flailing Figure. The Figure lashed out.

The coffee mug was spilt, its contents spreading across the desk like a pool of blood. The Author fired the rifle at the Figure.

**Ruth's POV**

Ruth and Caroline stood in front of the super market. It looked like the average super market. Nothing unusual. They went inside. The first thing that stood out was a man talking to an imaginary person. He appeared to be in his late twenties and spoke with a posh English accent. He kept referring to the imaginary person as Annie.

"Mad…" Ruth muttered, her Scottish accent barely sounding against the noises created by supermarkets.

"Or just sanely challenged?" Asked Caroline.

The both nodded.

**AN:**

**Well, wasn't that fun? I don't know about you, but I could do with a coffee.**

**Right, so…. Leave a review! Please!**

**Also, look! A new character! The Author won't ever meet the characters as he is causing this to happen. He is like god to these little people.**

**Right, I need names for a few characters I'm gonna be flinging in!**

**So, we have a two hundred year old vampire male. (Possibly Harvey or Nathaniel)**

**A seventy year old vampire female.**

**And loads of humans who I _MIGHT_ let live. **

**And now for my supernatural thingy for you to do.**

**Now having decided all your minor details, OUTFITS! *giggles***

**Right, all of us _love_ clothes and so now we decide EVERYTHING ABOUT CLOTHES!**

**Right, so, all black. Black top-hat. Black vans (le shoes!). Pretty much everything Edward is wearing. **

**And another shoutout to AylaAbbs! YAY! Seriously, read her fics, they're like, five times better than this AND they have Ruth and Caroline! She actually created them, which indicates how AWESOME she is.**

**And a disclaimer. I obviously don't own being human, I am not Lord Toby*. If I were then this would be an episode, not a fic. DUH!**

***The godlike creator of Being Human. He isn't actually called Lord Toby, but all us fans call him that. And I think even he calls himself that… Someone should send him a crown… What's his address?**


	4. Introductions

**Oh, hey there you! You just caught me uploading yet another chapter! Sorry if any of them are a bit short. Please tell me in the review thing. So, when we last saw our heroes, Edward was hit by a crowbar, Allison was heartbroken but hiding it well, Tom didn't really care about much and Ruth was in Barry and just saw someone (Hal) talking to someone imaginary (Annie). Today's chapter takes place later that day. I might do a TWO DAYS LATER slightly later in the chapter. Depends how things Rock'n'Roll.**

**Allison's POV**

Allison let go of the vampire's legs. They had been carrying him to Honolulu Heights and he wasn't light. They had cleaned most of the blood off him and his pulse was still happening, which was a good sign. Tom knocked on the door. They had put all his stuff in her bag. She didn't care. She was still mourning the death of her relationship with Tom. And it had been going so well.

Annie opened the door. She looked surprised to see Allison. Well, it appears I'm back she thought.

'Oh hey Allison. Nice to see you.' Annie said welcomingly, and then she noticed the bruised and bleeding body of the young vampire. 'THOMAS MCNAIR! WHAT ON EARTH HAVE YOU DONE?' She yelled.

Tom recoiled slightly. Allison also recoiled slightly. Tom spoke after a short pause.

'E saved Allison's life. And e killed some vampires. And e is one!' He replied desperately.

'And he might be dying.' Allison added meekly.

Annie glared at Tom as if saying 'Why have you brought a semi-dead vampire to my house where we have a baby, you idiot?'

'Fine, but come in quickly, and don't let Eve see him.' She decided.

They lifted him up again and pulled him into the house. Allison saw Hal playing the lute to Eve, who wasn't crying, meaning she was probably enjoying the lute playing.

'Annie, where do we pu im?' Tom enquired.

'One of the spare rooms!' She replied, before renting a ghost to the kitchen.

The carried him up the stairs. He was hard to carry while walking along a flat surface, when carrying him against gravity it was like carrying a bag of bricks.

**TWO DAYS LATER… Because I really don't want to just type two days of Tom and Allison avoiding each other. Seriously, how dull would that be? I'll shut up and get back to typing…**

**Edward's POV**

Edward blinked twice. His arms felt light lead. He physically couldn't lift them. He blinked again. Why did his head hurt? Wait, where is he? Why does he smell of shampoo? He focussed his vision. Where? What? He closed his eyes. What time was it again? Ah shit… If he was dead then… Wait, he couldn't kill who ever was responsible, he was dead. Wait, he smelt tea. He loved tea! He opened his eyes and took in his surroundings.

Pale walls… And the curtains were shut. It appeared to be quite bright outside.

He blinked again.

He heard people downstairs. Wait, that meant this building had more than one floor. He finally gathered enough strength to lift one arm to his head. He winced. His forehead was badly bruised.

'…' He mumbled. He noticed he was in a bed. A soft bed. And he was naked. Like, completely naked. He pulled the duvet slightly higher. Wait… He was saving that female and now he was naked, in a bed room…

The crow-bar! The bloody crow-bar!

He swung his legs off the bed, covering himself with the duvet. He saw a wardrobe on the other side of the room.

'Fuck…' He muttered. How the hell was he going to get to the wardrobe in his current state without alerting anyone else in the house?

He wrapped the duvet around him like a toga, before getting to his feet slowly. He took small steps, each one taking vast quantities of energy to perform.

How the hell did he get into this situation? Urgh…

He finally reached the wardrobe. He opened it slowly, finding his clothes neatly hung up. He smiled. At least they care about the state of his clothes and, probably, washing him, seeing as he smelt of shampoo and not blood or ash. He dressed himself quickly, his dark clothes standing out from the pale room.

Once dressed, he noticed a unfamiliar lightness to his outfit.

'MY STUFF!' He exclaimed which, to his dismay, caused a young woman to literally appear in his room. She was holding a cup of tea and appeared to be surprised to see him dressed and standing by the wardrobe.

'You're awake!' She proclaimed.

'Yes. You're Annie Sawyer!' He observed.

'How do you know who I am?' She enquired, the conversation picking up pace.

'Pretty much every vampire in the world knows about you and Mitchell. And George and Nina. Which, by the way, I am sorry for your loss.' He replied his energy returning slightly. Intelligent conversation tended to do that. Made him feel normal.

'Okaaaay, now, why are you here?' She asked. She seemed to be asking a lot of questions today.

'You tell me. I was in an alleyway and now I'm here.' He replied, slightly cockily.

'Look, _you_ saved Allison. _You_ got knocked out. They brought _you_ here. What were _you_ doing?' She interrogated. She said each _you_ accusingly.

'_I_ saved Allison because that is how _I_ roll.' He replied. He smirked slightly.

'You're not one of those posh, cocky vampires are you?' She enquired, appearing to grow tired of his charade.

'Only slightly and only when I don't know what day it is.' He replied sombrely.

She rolled her eyes and opened the door.

'The others are downstairs. I'm sure they're all dying to meet you. And it's Wednesday.' She said sarcastically, before walking out the door and heading downstairs.

He smirked. Nothing like irritating a famous figure to get you up in the morning.

He walked out the door of the room slowly, missing the comforting weight of his gun and his phone. Wait, where were his combs? Shit! His hair would be a mess!

He brushed it into a "Bieber Flick" with his hands.

Right, time to bite the proverbial bullet, as it were.

He walked down the stairs slowly, each step making a sound similar to a gong being clung.

He finally reached the bottom of the stairs. The whole house went silent. He was never good with social situations. Why did he have to get himself knocked out? Seriously, now he was wishing he had a time machine. Why did he believe in time machines? He shook his head. Remain focussed on the task at hand. Being polite, respectable and now trying to kill anyone. He was pretty good at not killing anyone actually… He should make himself a medal! He'd get right on it as soon as he got to the van! Yes. Wait, HIS KEYS! Shit. He lost his keys, his gun, his phone, his wallet, his fake ID, his combs, his bubble pipe and his condom. Wait, why did he even have a condom?

He followed the sound of talking into a bar/living room thing. It was one of the major indications he was probably in a hotel. Why was there a ghost in a hotel? And werewolves… He smelt werewolves… Probably the ones he saved earlier. He looked at the people in front of him. They were on sofas and chairs, chatting informally. He recognised Annie and the female he saved earlier and a familiar face. There was also a young man with a shaven head. The other vampire looked very familiar, where had he seen him before?

Edward coughed nervously. They all turned to see him. Well this was awkward…

He bowed with a flourish before announcing 'Edward Silver esquire! At your service.' The whole room was silent.

'Um… Hello Edward… I'm Allison.' Said the werewolf female called Allison.

He bowed with a flourish again, before kissing her hand. 'Charmed to make your acquaintance.'

She giggled. The young male werewolf seemed to be uncomfortable with this.

'Hal. Hal York.' Said the familiar faced vampire. He smiled nervously, this caused Edward to think I'm not the only nervous one here then. Which was true. None of them were completely… At home, so to speak.

The young man with the shaven head stood up and offered his hand.

'Thomas McNair.' He said solemnly. Edward shook his hand warmly.

'Well, it is lovely to meet you all. I'll be off then. Sorry for the trouble I've caused.' Edward said cheerily. The others looked shocked.

After a short pause Annie finally said 'No you're not.'

'On the contrary, I shall be leaving now. With all due respect of course.' He replied formally. He really didn't want to kill his way out. He liked these people, they helped him.

This time it was Allison who spoke. 'Please Mr Silver. You saved my life. At least tell us who you are.'

_Is dis love? Is dis love? Is dis love?_

_Is dis love dat I'm feelin?_

_Is dis love? Is dis love? Is dis love?_

_Is dis love dat I'm feeling?_

The reggae music cracked the awkward silence caused by Allison's comment. Edward spun around, seeing all his stuff neatly laid out on the bar behind him. Including his Iphone, which was emitting the noise.

_I wanna know! I wanna know! I wanna know now!_

_Aaaaaaah_

_I got to know. Got to know. Got to know now aaaaaah…._

'My bubble pipe! Oh baby I've missed you!' He yelled, picking up the bright red bubble pipe and hugging it, completely ignoring the offending Iphone. He turned around, his bubble pipe already in his mouth.

'Alright, I'll answer your questions. May I just say that this house is wonderful? A bar in the front room? Brilliant!' He exclaimed happily.

'Um… Thank you?' Asked Annie.

'So, question one. Why did you save me?' Asked Allison, wasting no time.

Edward stood awkwardly, the bubble pipe hanging from his lips. 'Because I wanted to?' He replied, not being entirely truthful.

'Question two. Why were you in Barry?' Asked Tom, sounding slightly more formal than usual.

'I like Barry?' Edward asked. He was being truthful now, just holding back information.

'Are you being entirely truthful Mr Silver?' Asked Allison, sensing more behind the answer.

'Truthful? Yes. In depth? No.' He answered. Alison smirked.

'So, what are the other reasons Mr Silver?' She probed.

'Well… A few reasons… One of which is that a member of my family will be arriving soon, I hope to say hello. Another reason is that there is a dog-fighting group in the area. I plan to… Destroy it.' He finished darkly.

'You have family' Asked Hal York, intrigued.

'A great-great-great-great-great grand daughter.' He replied.

'Oh?' Asked Allison.

'Yeah… Back in the seventeen seventies…' He replied, his eyes un-focusing and staring off into the distance. Back in the seventeen seventies… Back in the seventeen seventies…

**Flashback…**

Edward Silver strolled along the filthy streets of London with not a care in the world. The clouds were gathering. Vast quantities of rain would pour upon the city later that day, but by then he would be at home. Home to his fiancé and their child.

He was pulled into an alleyway at a speed he could not comprehend. Within moments he was bleeding from the neck, screaming in agony. Blood gushed from his neck, pouring over the entire alleyway, ruining his coat. Blood covered every surface in the alley.

And then everything went dark.

He saw terrible things. Men with sticks and ropes, refusing him into a doorway. Flames engulfing his house. Blood. Where ever he looked. Blood. And death. Blood, flames and death. He tried to scream but no sound came out. He tried to cry, but no tears fell.

He awoke. His neck hurt slightly. And he was hungry. So very hungry…

**Now…**

'Mr Silver! Mr Silver!' He heard a voice yell.

He blinked twice.

'Hello?' He asked curiously.

'You just sort of… Blacked out there. You looked like you were about to fall over.' Allison explained.

'What? Oh yeah. Sorry, flashback.' He replied, feeling a bit faint.

'Does that happen often?' Asked Hal, taking an interest in the conversation.

'More so than usual.' Ed replied absent mindedly.

'Well, you cant go ow on du streets like at. Oo shuld stay ere for a bi.' Tom suggested.

Edward knew himself and was pretty sure the young werewolf was right. Out on the streets like this he would be a danger to himself and the good people of Barry.

Annie nodded in agreement with Tom. 'You should stay until your family arrive. Will they be long?'

'I feel compelled to agree with you both, I can not thank you enough. They should be in Barry around now. I thank you again.' He replied graciously.

**A day later. Which, in that time:**

**Edward and Hal discussed not drinking blood.**

**Tom and Allison avoided each other.**

**Annie made tea.**

**Eve cried.**

**And our heroes Ruth and Caroline slept in a B&B and then went sight-seeing. Well, isn't that what you do with sights? You see them? DUH!**

**Ruth's POV**

Ruth was on a walk with Caroline. They were walking by the docks talking about the good looking man who ran the B&B. What? They were on their gap year? Isn't that what they were meant to do? You know what, whatever!

'His eyes!' Giggled Caroline.

'Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up fuzzball.' Replied Ruth. Caroline wasn't normally this giggly. May be it was the fact they'd had vodka before lunch? Only a shot, but still…

The approached a deserted building called Stoker LDT.

'Ruth, I think we should leave.' Suggested Caroline, sobering up and becoming her usual scaredy-cat self.

'Oh come on! Where's your sense of adventure?' Replied Ruth, not in the slightest sober.

'What if there's a rapist? We should go!' Complained Caroline.

'Or we could go inside and pretend to be welsh? Come on! It'll be a laugh!' Said Ruth, giggling slightly.

'Fine, but if anything happens, it's your fault!' She finally gave in.

**Cutler's POV**

Cutler sat in the control room of the Stoker building. He was on his phone, sitting at the skeleton table. He was updating his twitter. Full moon in a few days, everyone look out for doggies.

He smirked. Soon they'd be revealed and the Old Ones would respect him. And he'd be remembered. Just as Hal promised all those years ago… He'd be a history maker.

He heard voices in the reception. And they smelt… Human. One Scottish and one American. Both female. Slightly intoxicated.

He could all tell this from the sound and smell of their blood. He got up from his seat, putting his phone in his pocket. He walked briskly towards the stairs.

If they found out about vampires early there could be consequences. And not just for him, but for the whole species. He sped up, reaching the stairs quickly.

'You see, completely safe AND abandoned!' Boasted a Scottish voice.

'Wait! I hear someone coming!' Moaned an American voice.

And now it was feeding time…

**AN**

**Hello Cutler, Nick Cutler! **

**Well, as you can see, this is the longest chapter yet! Let us all dance!**

**Anyway, this was hard to write as I had to keep it original and in no way stupid.**

**I think I did well. *grins like an idiot***

**So, Edward has met dem lot at HH.**

**Ruth and Caroline are about to meet Cutler. Why do I feel this could end badly? He wouldn't kill off the two tourists would he? ! *cough* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *coughs twice* HA! HA HA!**

**Don't worry AylaAbbs, your girls are going to be treated _as we agreed_.**

**So, now for my SuperNatural Funtime Choice Game!**

**As we have decided almost everything, we are left with petty things, such as today's SNFTCG (SuperNaturalFunTimeChoiceGame)!**

**How would you get around? **

**I would use all the vehicles used by Mr Silver. You'll find out what they are in a later chapter. Perhaps the next one? It appears I have control over everything here… Naked TRAIN TIME!**

**See ya soon folks! **

**Please Review. PLEASE! **

**And another shout out to Queen Awesome AylaAbbs. You rock.**

**Sorry for making your characters get a little drunk…**

**And I am still not Lord Toby and I don't own Being Human.**


	5. NINJAS! AAAAAAAAAGH!

**AN: Well, sorry for the delay of a few weeks... Had a wee bit of writer's block and other stuff, involving the police and mild strangulation, it's all kicking off here! Anyway, sorry for the lack of updates and the pathetic length of this chapter. So, I have no idea how this chapter will turn out. YAY! Please Read and Review, or I shall kill each character. One. By. One.**

**I'M NOT BLUFFING!**

**Amador's POV**

Amador pulled his hat's brim low with his gloved hands. He straightened his scarf and wrapped his grey greatcoat around him tighter.

He bent down low and glared at the floor accusingly. The ash on the cold, dark pavement did nothing. He bent down lower and scooped a bit up with his gloved hands. He sniffed it, then observed the alleyway.

Edward had been here.

Amador had been searching for Edward for three days now, and he was close. Very close. He could feel it in the wind, so to speak.

He took off, each stride spanning a metre.

He would find him, and then the shit would hit the fan.

**Edward's POV**

Edward was currently in the attic, with Tom and Hal. They were discussing children's TV, deciding what they would allow Eve to watch.

'Tinky-Winky may have a large estate, but I wouldn't let him marry _my_ daughter.' Edward decided. He blew out a stream of bubbles from his red plastic pipe.

'I must disagree. He would have the funding to provide for the family.' Argued Hal.

'Sorry, bu wha duh hew as dis go to do wiv Eve?' Asked Tom, killing the mood and then promptly burying and urinating on its grave.

'Yeah, how did we get onto this?' Asked Edward.

'Um… I don't know. We were talking about tellytubies, wait, what the hell is a tellytuby?' Responded Hal.

'A strange humanoid creature with a television in its stomach.' Explained Edward.

'GUYS! SHU UP!' Yelled Tom, growing weary of the discussion.

'Right. Sorry.' Said Edward meekly.

Edward heard yelling from downstairs. It sounded like Annie. Was the house under attack?

His hand flew into his jacket, his gun already loaded and cocked. Tom was already gripping a stake, Hal smashing a chair and using one of the legs. The trio ran downstairs, their footsteps on the stairs thundering like a herd of stampeding rhinos.

They stormed into the front room to find Annie and Allison peering out of the window, holding stakes. They also noticed the hammering sound on the front door. And screaming, lots of screaming.

'Is someone going to get the door?' Edward asked naively.

'Edward! Are you insane?' Asked Annie, obviously trying not to yell too much.

He glanced out the window. All seemed fine.

'I'll get it if you want? Tom, cover me.' He commanded them like they were soldiers and he was their leader.

He approached the door, gun in hand. Tom looked at Annie pleadingly then followed Edward.

Edward pulled the door open, his gun raised in his right hand. He could tell that the people banging on the door were female. And one had blue hair.

He loosened his grip, but kept the gun in position.

'Tom?' He whispered.

'Yea?' Tom replied, also whispering.

'I think. _Think_ that we should let them in.' Edward whispered back.

'I'll ask Annie' He whispered, before stepping backwards slowly and then running towards the living room.

Edward waited for what seemed like an hour, his hands becoming slippery on the gun with sweat.

'Annie wans to know why' Tom returned, still whispering.

'Because, I think they're human and have no intention of killing Eve.' He replied.

Tom ran off again, before returning quickly with Hal, Allison and Annie in tow.

'Am I permitted to allow two screaming females into the house?' Edward enquired. He noticed that no-one was holding the baby.

'Yes Edward. You are permitted to allow to screaming females into a house with a baby who is destined to wipe out the vampires, keeping in mind the fact we have no idea who the females are.' Annie's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

'Right, so is that a yes?' He asked innocently.

'No Edward!' Annie practically yelled.

'They're human!' Argued Edward.

'So was Kirby!' Protested Annie.

'Who the Darwin was Kirby?' Edward stopped arguing, however the banging on the door continued. 'Wait, is this really the time?'

'Oh for fucks sake… Fine let them in!' Annie gave up.

Edward pulled the final door open, the blue haired figure falling into the landing, followed by a brown haired female, who fainted at the sight of the gun and stakes. Edward shoved his Webley revolver back into his pocket quickly, before grabbing Tom and Hal's stakes and throwing them outside. He gestured to the others something that looked like he was saying 'help me pick these two up would you? We can talk about it later.' He picked up the legs of the blue one and dragged her out from underneath the red one.

'Where should we keep them?' He enquired, watching as Annie's face contorted into anger/confusion.

'They aren't staying. And when are you leaving anyway?' She replied, obviously pissed off.

'I can leave right now if you should request it.' He replied sombrely, dropping the legs of the blue one.

'No, please Mr Silver. Annie is just angry, do-'Allison was cut off by Annie beginning to talk.

'Vacate the premises by six.' She then walked off.

This left Tom, Allison, Hal and Ed to move the collapsed young females. They looked about cautiously, waiting to see if the dangerous and benevolent goddess Annie would return. She did not. They began slowly picking up the collapsed females and taking them upstairs. Edward would guess that they were nineteen and on their gap year. He knew they didn't live here or near here, because he had been carefully observing as many people as possible and he would have remembered someone with blue hair. Short blue hair. Shorter than his hair. Slightly longer than Tom's. Shorter than Hal's.

They dumped them in the sparer rooms and went downstairs.

'So, I've noticed something.' Edward announced when they were all in the living room/bar.

'And what it that Mr Silver?' Inquired Allison. She sipped her mug of tea.

'You and Tom.' He began. 'The way you look at each other but then make sure never to be in the same room if avoidable.'

The silence was crushing. Tom staring at the floor. He didn't say anything. Allison stared at the ceiling, also remaining silent.

'Touchy subject?' He asked awkwardly, regretting asking the first question.

'To say the least…' Allison responded.

'So, right!' Edward changed the subject hastily. 'Seeing as I need to be out of the house by six, and it's currently fi-'He was cut off by the sound of smashing glass in the kitchen. They looked up suddenly, putting down their mugs at a speed of which you could not possibly comprehend. Before the door had even hit the wall they had already left the room, Edward's gun loaded and cocked, held ready for conflict. They stormed into the kitchen, weapons drawn. Annie appeared next to Edward mere milliseconds after he entered the room. She glared at him with disgust. She turned to the attackers.

'Ninjas?' She blurted out.

**Narrative POV, because no one person could see all of this.**

'Holy shit-biscuits!' Yelled Edward, noticing the insignia on the arms of the black figures storming the room. A single flame motif on the right shoulder of each ninja. They wore baklavas and were brandishing hand-guns and katanas.

'Edward, explain now.' Annie demanded. Edward fired all six shots at one of them, who jumped towards the ceiling, grabbing hold of the lights. It threw a small knife at him, which he ducked. It impaled his tophat. And everything went bright red. Edward pounced at the ninja on the ceiling, drawing a dagger from the inside of his coat, slitting the ninja's throat in one swift slice. Copious amounts of blood fell to the floor, the body falling shortly after.

The other ninjas charged. Hal stormed in, holding two stakes, baring them like they could kill every thing. A ninja who was obviously female landed in-front of him and kicked the stakes out of his hands. She round-house kicked him in the face, causing his nose to bleed. He lunged at her, his fangs exposed to the open air. Allison grabbed a stake off the floor and charged at a ninja, which kicked her in the face. She crumpled to the floor, bleeding from the face.

The door swung open and a young man strode into the room. He was brandishing a super-soaker water-gun, and a AK-47 assault rifle. He looked Mediterranean, and wore a face of determination, making him appear to be a Spanish terminator who turned up to a water-gun fight with a real gun and a water gun.

'EVERYBODY HIT THE DECKS!' He yelled, his voice sounding like chocolate personified.

Edward grabbed Allison, who grabbed Tom, who grabbed Hal, who yelled. Suddenly the air above them smelt and tasted of lead and water. The ninjas were mown down, some turning to ash at the water's touch. Few survived the onslaught. Edward threw his coat over Hal as water began to head towards the old one. The female ninja who attacked Hal sped towards the window, smashing the glass and flying to freedom. Two more followed suit.

Edward got up slowly, blood staining his rock t-shirt.

'What the fuck just happened?' He asked, to no one particular.

The Spanish man turned to him.

'Hello Edward.' He replied, before punching him in the face. Hard.

**Mya Starr's POV**

Mya and the two other survivors were marched through the dark, dingy corridor at a pace designed to bring fear to the prisoners. One of the guards turned to her.

'I'm so sorry Mya.' He apologised. She could only see his eyes due to the full face helmet, but they were pools of sorrow.

Another guard turned to him. 'Don't apologise. She failed the Mistress. She will be punished, just like these two.' He gestured to the others. Mya turned to her comrades. They had been striped of their combat suits and wore simple lime green robes. Her bright red hair was tied back.

They finally arrived at their destination. A large black obsidian door, with the flame motif carved into it. Samuel knocked on the door twice, before glancing at her apologetically. It opened.

She was hit by the scent of incense. It was nauseating. She was forced forwards into the dark room.

'Come forth.' A voice came from the shadows. It was commanding and harsh. The guards pushed her forward. 'Bow.' It demanded.

The guards pushed her and her comrades to their knees.

'Leave us.' Came the voice again. From her position on the floor she could see the feet of The Mistress. They were dressed in sand coloured leather sandals. She heard the guards leave, and the door shut behind her. She was trapped.

'Mya Starr. One of my most… Successful agents. Tell me Mya, what happened? You lost nine agents. These two are the only other survivors of your team.' The Mistress' voice had softened.

'Mistress. He was there. We out-numbered them greatly, but Kano made the mistake of throwing a knife at His hat. He paid for it with his life. The others attacked. Had no choice but to assist in the assault as to keep Silver al-'

'You shall not utter His name in my presence. Continue.'

'I am Sorry Mistress. I shall continue. Our forces were doing well to crush the small amount of resistance they put up, however, the man from Bulgaria arrived. He is the reason we lost nine agents.' She explained.

'The man from Bulgaria. The cause for all our problems in the hunting down of Him. Fine, you may leave with your life. I suppose you will want your two comrades to live too?' She asked, slightly sarcastically.

'If it would not be too much to ask?' Mya responded.

'Fine. But fail me again and you shall join the skulls that make up my throne.'

Mya looked up slightly, the throne was made from skulls. Human skulls.

'Yes Mistress.' She responded, bowing lowly.

'Good, now take Bishamon and Chespir and Leave.' She added extra emphasis on Leave.

'Yes Mistress.' Mya and her comrades remained bowing and slowly backed away, the door opening for them.

**A/N**

**Well, wasn't that a fun-filled comedy romp? **

**Firstly: I'm sorry for the lack of updates. I had some major shit going on. But it's over now and we can all enjoy a ginger beer and read this chapter. **

**The Mistress seems a bit spooky doesn't she? I think it would rock if she met Mr Snow, and I shall cause them to meet in a later chapter, because I can't miss this opportunity.**

**Right, firstly: Thank you for your reviews! They rock! **

**Now some notes to people: Thanks to AylaAbbs for not killing me for what I'm doing to her poor characters. **

**Thanks to Pondicus (Not her real name (or username, she doesn't have an account)) for helping me with Mya Starr. She is technically my character but Pondicus came up with the 'Mya' bit and some of the personality traits and some spoilers for later.**

**Thanks to YOU! Yes YOU! For reading this! Well done you! I couldn't do it! My own mindless yammerings drive me crazy! That's why I was rocking back and forth before typing this. **

**Right, now for the SuperNatural Quiz Thing! Or whatever I called it…**

**If Mya and the other twelve members of her team came after you, how would you survive? You have access to any weapon you want and five other people (Yes, this can include fictional people.)**

**I would have: Sinestro (Yellow lantern (Or Sinestro corpsman, for you detail freaks)) armed with his ring. Batman armed with EVERYTHING. Edward Silver armed with every gun in his van (Spoilers…). AylaAbbs, armed with a magic typewriter which can bring things and people into existence. And Chuck Norris. I would arm myself with a Star Sapphire* ring and a Webley revolver.**

**Review and DFTBA!**

***The violet lanterns. They are powered by love. I took an online quiz to find out which lantern colour I would be and TA DA! Laugh it up fuzzball. -_-**


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